What’s desperate about knowing what you want?

January 3, 2012

A week from right now, I will be at the wedding reception for one of, no, THE, greatest friend I’ve ever had. My dear friend will be married in a week to a very good man. It’s pretty awesome and all these weddings happening has got me thinking about romance and such gooey things. It has me thinking of how people percieve all of it, and what God says. Lots to take in with this.

I love God. That’s the simplest, truest thing in the world.

God has amazing plans for all of us, and if we allow Him to guide us, we will receive His blessings. I remember growing up, even before I got saved, always wishing I could have a boyfriend. Which was always looked at as pathetic. So you hide that ya know? It’s only okay to like romance if you’re in a relationship according to society. If you admit to wanting it without having it, your ‘sad’.

I accepted this as truth growing up, and I felt like such a loser for being single. Well, not for being single, but for being single and wishing I wasn’t.

Thank God, I have grown up.. and high school cliques don’t really sway my thinking.

Okay, bear with me a minute as I use a TV show to illustrate a point.

I love the show ‘How I Met Your Mother’, it’s legen… wait for it.. DARY. In all seriousness, the best sitcom on TV, if you disagree you obviously havn’t seen it.

So there is an episode where a character, Barney is referring to Febuary 13th as Desperation Day because of all the girls trying to get dates for Valentines. He meets a woman who refuses to act like the other women who are pretending to be independent and not care, she admits she does want it. I really liked this line “What’s desperate about knowing what you want? Look, life is really short, Barney. Who wants to spend Valentine’s Day alone, distracting yourself from the fact that nobody loves you with some sad little activity?”.

Why is this condsidered desperate? I think knowing what you want is a good thing.

The first thing that God said was NOT good? Anyone.. anyone… Bueller…?

That Adam was alone, he needed a suitable helper, so God created Eve to be a helpmate. The first woman in the story of the world was created for the purpose of being a helpmate. I think it’s embedded in all women to want that, because it’s why we we’re created in the first place.

I think men fall in love with women because as God saw, it is not good for them to be alone.

It’s inescapable, it’s in who we are. Do all people have some driving force to get married? No. Some are more driven for other things. I for one, have always known I want to be a wife someday. That’s my ‘dream job’. Why should I hide that? Am I desperate because I acknowledge the heart God gave me? The desires He put there. I pray about who I may one day marry. I may or may not get that wish fufilled in my life. But, I won’t tiptoe around acting like I don’t want it.

Let’s get real people.

What is the driving force behind any TV shows success…. waiting for the guy and the girl to FINALLY get together.

Why do we have so many love songs?? (I just put together the playlist for this wedding, there are so freaking many!)

Why?

Because everyone loves love.

Why is it people only admit it once they are IN a relationship.. I just don’t get it anymore. Looking at it objectivly it is just silly. Most people want it, a small few are truly happy on their own. I know a few who really have no desire to get married. They are the minority. So why do we all pretend we don’t care? I say stop pretending.

Be romantic. Take risks. Wear your heart on your sleeve. So many of my friends are falling in love and getting married. Happiness and love looks so good on them

I think our society has made love less important and put casual hook ups in the spotlight. It isn’t how it should be.

So here’s my advice to guys:

Pursue. It isn’t our job to do that. I have been the one to move a relationship along and trust me, it does not work. I had a talk with a few ladies one night and we talked about how guys now are so lazy and scared about it, that no one ever gets anywhere. We are not going to wear a sign that says we want you to ask us out, you just have to try. Put yourself out there, the right girl will be worth the risk.

And for ladies:

Respect yourself. A guy worth your time is going to treat you like a lady, not a prostitute. I have seen far too many girls settle for dirtbags because they got tired of waiting for Mr. Right. trust me, I have met a lot of really sweet guys worth a good girls time. They are a bit rare nowadays but I promise, they exist. I got to date one for a while.

And for both guys and gals:

Be future minded. If you don’t think the person you are with will be your husband/wife, then get out. What’s the point? You are wasting precious time you could be spending with the right person. I’d rather be single and waiting than with the wrong person.

Be prayerful. I will never forget a bible study I had in high school, telling us to pray for our future husbands. Pray for them to be spiritual leaders, for God to be working in their lives, etc. Pray for them even if you have never met them. Prayer is powerful and I think it’s a pretty cool thing to do. Love them before you meet them. Your spouse is supposed to be your one and only forever, and that should mean even now. Woah, Mind bender. :-b

Don’t settle. I have seen true love in action, if you don’t have it, don’t get married. It’s a shame how high the divorce rate is. Breaks my heart, it shouldn’t be taken lightly. Know what you want and find the person that makes your heart all fuzzy. I know I want someone fun, and spirited. Someone that can actually make me laugh and not just the other way around. Someone passionate and sweet and a GENTLEMAN. I want a guy that I know will be a good father and a good husband. Mostly, I want a man who puts Jesus first, and lets Him shape him into the man he was meant to be, the rest should all fall into place nicely. I don’t have to settle for less, because hopefully, some guy out there would list all my weird traits as what he wants. Won’t that be a fun day. Until then, I’m good chillin out maxin relaxin all cool… wait.

I teach young kids now, and as they grow up in to teens I find myself dealing with more of this kind of advice. I find it funny that most adults need the same lessons I am teaching to middle schoolers.

I think true love is worth doing right, and celebrating.

I can’t wait to celebrate with these two in a week, this is what it looks like when you get it right.