Without Words

I have so much I could write today.

But I can’t so I won’t.

I’m so glad I have a God that listens and knows my situation and loves me enough to help me through it and guide me to what I need to do next.

I’m angry. I’m dissapointed. I’m shocked. I’m pretty disgusted. I’m heartbroken. I’m confused.

But I will hold all this in, and let God handle it. Because quite frankly, I have no other choice.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. – Phillipians 4:13

I know that is true, so I can get through this.

“Have A Great Legacy” – Mark Driscoll on dating

So, I like to watch sermons online from other churches that I like. I love watching Perry Noble preach from Newspring Church, one day I’d love to visit that church. So I was watching part of his series ‘Beautiful’ yesterday and today. Jon told me I should listen to Mark Driscoll, and I figured that seemed like a good idea since I like his books. So I went and found this particular sermon in a series he did called “Religion Saves, and nine other misconceptions”. The sermon I watched was about dating, and it was probably the best sermon I’ve heard on the topic. Nevermind, drop the probably, it just was THE best sermon on the topic of dating I’ve heard.

I took notes like always, and I could give you some bullet points that I liked, but it is just one of those sermons you need to hear. If you are single, watch this. It’s just too good not to listen to.  Regardless of where you are at in your ’singleness’ it’s going to be a great guide for you. If you are a parent, watch this sermon, it gives some good advice that you can relay to your kids. If for whatever reason you don’t want to take an hour out of your day to watch it, skip to the last 20 minutes, he asks 6 questions to guys, and 7 to girls, that you need to seriously think about. But try to make time for the whole sermon, there are so many great things in it.

Check it out. I promise you, you will get something out of it.

http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/religionsaves/dating

God teaches me so much when I’m driving.

For the record.. coming back from the beach, there was horrible rain. I couldn’t see a dang thing, the road was so wet, I definitely hydroplaned, it was just insane. But, I managed to get through that fine. Anyone that went on that beach trip today will tell you the same, the rain was pretty intense for a little piece of the trip.

But that was baby stuff compared to my lovely night driving experience. I’m laughing right now just thinking about how it must have looked from the outside.

let me paint you a picture:

I have arachnophobia, which ib basic terms means I’m terrified of spiders, but for it to be considered a phobia, it is a liiiittle bit more involved than that. It means that I’m incredibly irrational in my fear, and I can get into panicked states where I lose myself. It’s like.. insane. Anywaaaay..

Tonight I went to Breakaway with Amber, and I parked at her house.. under her spider-infested tree. And of course Amber has told me stories about how they have gotten in her car and they show up while shes driving. Um not fun. So.. I parked there and was already flipping out about having to drive home before I even got out of my car. So, then we go, and come back and it’s time to brave the trees.. I’m already flipping out, I’m like.. positive one has to be in my car, or like lurking in my air vents waiting to crawl out and give me a heart attack and kill me. But I have to get home so I just start driving in a slight state of panic. Well.. I can only think about the potential for a spider to pop out at any second, and I’m flipping out, my mind is SO not on anything but that, and all of a sudden I’m all confused and I realize I’m driving through grass. So I make myself aware of my surroundings, and I have apparently drifted off the street into some dudes lawn I guess.. I really was so confused, I got back on the road all baffled and still terrified, I just started praying that God would somehow get me home safely.

On top of this panic over the spider, it is like.. crazy thick fog, it wasn’t too bad by the airport, but heading towards the house it was insane, and of course my end of Alafaya is just rediculous, it was probably the freakiest thing ever, all I could see were the yellow lines on either side of me, and about 10 yards or so in front of me.. everything else was just faded to black. SO creepy, felt like some freaky nightmare. It actually kind of reminded me of like.. a mario kart game or something, where if you run off the road you will just fall into the abyss… yeah, it was like that. So here i am, freaking out thinking a spider is gonna crawl on me, and I can’t see ANYTHING, and I somehow managed to get home. I really am pretty amazed that I made it back, considering I totally hit my side view mirror today and it ripped off.

 

Today was NOT my day.

Regardless, if I can make some big goofy analogy out of all this (and I’m going to because this is my blog and I do what I want) it would be this:

About the time the fog got crazy on Curry Ford, I started praying.. and by praying I mean talking out loud in my car to god as if he was just sitting there with me.. that’s how I tend to pray. And i just kept saying “I trust you to get me home, I trust that You are in control here, not me, and that You will get me home without incident, You are in control, I trust You, You are in control, I trust You. I want so badly to be at my destination but I trust you completely with this journey even though it’s incredibly uncomfortable and I feel blind and scared and I just want to be done. You are in control and I trust You.”
As bizarre as that phrasing sounds, it’s exactly how I worded it. And I can say that about my life in general, not just my driving home in some crazy fog, but right now I feel SO blind and confused and scared out of my mind and I want SO badly for this freaky ride to be over, I just want to be at my destination. But, at the same time, it’s okay, because God is the one steering the wheel in my life and I trust Him to guide me the right way and to get me there safely, and in His timing.

God teaches me so much when I’m driving.