Today was a little intense on my emotions. So, the last thing I needed was to recieve a text from someone from my past. But yet that’s what life threw at me. Hooray.
Basically this guy wants to have dinner this week, and I agreed. To which my best friend got pretty ticked off at me. She wants me to cut ties with him completely, which I basically had for a long time, he would still contact me every month or so, but we havent seen each other in a long time. So what changed? I don’t really know, but we physically saw each other the other day, and I guess that got him thinking. Becuase he called the next day, and wants to see me now. It was probably in my best interest to say no, but I obviously didn’t. Here’s why I didn’t: I miss him terribly, and I want the friendship back. I don’t think it will ever happen, because too much happened to ruin it, but I can’t miss my chance to try to fix things as best as I can. He was a huge part of my life for over a year and I don’t think it’s right that we don’t even speak anymore.
I am aware that this is all pretty stupid. And Kelly is seriously not happy with the fact I’ll be seeing him, but I for some reason am going through with it regardless. I don’t actually remember why we totally lost touch, because for a while we we’re able to maintain a friendship, but we kept fighting, and it got hard, and I guess we just drifted when I got closer to all my friends now. So, I think now that I have really totally forgiven him and moved on, it may be easier to keep a friendship without snapping at him all the time.
I struggled with forgiving him for a really long time, but I was able to do it a while ago. The problem is, the time I forgave him was the same time we stopped talking.
Basically I have mixed feelings because I am glad I am going to see him, he was so important to me at one point and it will be great to catch up. But at the same time, he really broke my heart at one time too, and seeing him may bring all that back. I just don’t give up on people that easily though, so I’ll be seeing him this week.
It’s been a long day, and I’ve got some stuff to deal with tomorrow too. But thats been on my mind all night and I needed to blog about it and be done with it.
(And sorry for those of you that don’t really know the whole backstory with Michael, it’s kind of long and complicated, not secret just hard to explain so if you need it explained just ask me someday I just dont want to type all the history here right now)
